A Tale of Two Cities - Six (Pack) of One, Half Dozen of Another

MR. MARTHAWHO (calling from Germany, where he has been for a week after being in Japan for the week prior):
Hi honey, how's it going?

MARTHAWHO:
Oh you know... it's going. Can't wait for you to get back tomorrow.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Yeah -- me either. Miss you guys. How was your morning?

MARTHAWHO:
Fine.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Did punchkins sleep for you?

MARTHAWHO:
Not really. She woke up every couple of hours screaming about giant bugs attacking her.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Oh no. I'm sorry.

MARTHAWHO:
Yep. I had to sleep with her from about 2:30 to 6:00. Then I went back to bed but she woke up at 6:15 screaming again.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Oh no.

MARTHAWHO:
Yeah. I tried to let her cry for a while but eventually I went in there and she had pissed the bed.

MR. MARTHAWHO laughs.

MARTHAWHO:
Oh yeah... it was really funny I tell ya. I haven't had a full nights sleep in two weeks so it was a joyous good time to have to change a bed at 6:30 in the morning.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Sorry.

MARTHAWHO:
Don't worry about it. Everything is fine. How was your speech today?

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Oh it was fine.

MARTHAWHO:
God what are you doing? It's so freaking loud in the background. You sound like you're in a soccer stadium.

MR. MARTHAWHO (exuberantly):
Oh yeah -- I'm at Oktoberfest!!

MARTHAWHO:
What?

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Oktoberfest -- you know --

MARTHAWHO:
I know what Oktoberfest is.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Yeah. I mean it's like the Oktoberfest. Oh. My. God. It's crazy. These people are crazy. All of this crazyness about BEER.

MARTHAWHO:
So let me get this straight. I've been home for two weeks, a hundred and fourteen months pregnant, taking care of our two year old, trying to put food on the table every night, working all day, cleaning up the dog's puke every night after the kid feeds him her dinner, washing your laundry from last weeks' trip and generally just trying to hold my shit together, and ... oh yeah, you're in a mosh pit at "The" Oktoberfest.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Yeah! I know! t's crazy isn't it?

MARTHAWHO:
Uh-huh. Just checking.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
So I thought I'd call now in case I'll be too drunk to call you later.

MARTHAWHO:
If you miss your flight back tomorrow morning I will never forgive you.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
I know.

MARTHAWHO:
Because if you miss it you may as well stay there.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
I won't miss it. I promise.

MARTHAWHO:
Alrighty then. Have a GREAT time. See you tomorrow then.

MR. MARTHAWHO:
Thanks honey. You're the best.

MARTHAWHO:
Oh believe me I know.

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