Friday Night At MarthaWho's Place
authors note: Sorry I do not know how to spell all of my Rings words. Bear with me.
Mr. MARTHAWHO and MARTHAWHO are watching the third Lord of the Rings movie. MR. MW is fast forwarding through every scene that doesn't involve a battle.
MARTHAWHO:
Is this fun for you? skipping all of the non-violent scenes?
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
I'm glad you're skipping them actually. They suck.
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
Frodo is such a pussy.
MR. MW:
You've said so before. I sort of agree with you now.
MARTHAWHO:
I mean, he is SUCH a pussy though. If it weren't for Samwise his sorry Hobbit ass wouldn't have made it five freaking minutes.
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
I mean really. Sammie's boxers should be bronzed.
MR. MW:
I think that happens in the fourth installment.
MARTHAWHO:
Star Wars is kind of like this too.
MR. MW:
Huh?
MARTHAWHO:
I mean Luke Skywalker is kind of a pussy too.
MR. MW:
I guess.
MARTHAWHO:
Except do you think it was actually a Mark Hamill thing?
MR. MW:
What are you talking about?
MARTHAWHO:
Seriously -- I mean Mark Hamill is the worst actor ever and really really whiny especially in the early movies.
MR. MW:
And...?
MARTHAWHO:
So do you think it's an actor thing?
MR. MW:
I'm sorry. What was the question?
MARTHWHO:
I'm just saying -- maybe in Star Wars it's more that Mark Hamill is a pussy and not that Luke Skywalker is a pussy.
MR. MW:
Whatever you say honey.
MARTHAWHO:
You know -- he kind of gets dragged around by his friends... Han Solo etcetera.
MR. MW:
Can we just watch the movie?
MARTHAWHO:
Except by the last Star Wars movie, Luke Skywalker kind of grows some balls.
MR. MW:
Maybe that's the point.
MARTHAWHO:
What? That you need your friends to prop you up for a while? And then you learn to grow balls etc?
MR. MW:
Yeah.
MARTHAWHO:
Except Frodo. He never grows any balls at all. He's a pussy till the very end.
MR. MW:
Yep.
MARTHAWHO:
He should jump into that fire pit along with the ring.
MR. MW:
Uh huh. Sure honey.
MARTHAWHO:
Wow. This is the part where those Orcas are going to bite it, eh?
MR. MW:
Orcs.
MARTHAWHO:
What?
MR. MW:
It's Orcs honey, not Orcas.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh yeah. Orcas are whales, not hobbits.
MR. MW:
Orcs aren't hobbits either.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh.
MR. MW:
Technically, these aren't Orcs. They are Orecai.
MARTHAWHO:
What the hell does that mean?
MR. MW:
They're half Orc, half human.
MARTHAWHO:
Delicious.
MR. MW:
It makes them smarter.
MARTHAWHO:
Puhleeze.
MR. MW:
Are you going to be quiet now?
MARTHAWHO:
Isn't this the part where they dont have enough troops?
MR. MW:
Yep.
MARTHAWHO:
That's because the old guy kind of fucks them over right?
MR. MW:
What?
MARTHAWHO:
The old guy. Doesn't he tell the rest of the troops to turn back and not help fight the Orcas?
MR. MW:
That's Braveheart.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh. Well anyway. Frodo is still a pussy.
###
Mr. MARTHAWHO and MARTHAWHO are watching the third Lord of the Rings movie. MR. MW is fast forwarding through every scene that doesn't involve a battle.
MARTHAWHO:
Is this fun for you? skipping all of the non-violent scenes?
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
I'm glad you're skipping them actually. They suck.
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
Frodo is such a pussy.
MR. MW:
You've said so before. I sort of agree with you now.
MARTHAWHO:
I mean, he is SUCH a pussy though. If it weren't for Samwise his sorry Hobbit ass wouldn't have made it five freaking minutes.
MR. MW:
Uh huh.
MARTHAWHO:
I mean really. Sammie's boxers should be bronzed.
MR. MW:
I think that happens in the fourth installment.
MARTHAWHO:
Star Wars is kind of like this too.
MR. MW:
Huh?
MARTHAWHO:
I mean Luke Skywalker is kind of a pussy too.
MR. MW:
I guess.
MARTHAWHO:
Except do you think it was actually a Mark Hamill thing?
MR. MW:
What are you talking about?
MARTHAWHO:
Seriously -- I mean Mark Hamill is the worst actor ever and really really whiny especially in the early movies.
MR. MW:
And...?
MARTHAWHO:
So do you think it's an actor thing?
MR. MW:
I'm sorry. What was the question?
MARTHWHO:
I'm just saying -- maybe in Star Wars it's more that Mark Hamill is a pussy and not that Luke Skywalker is a pussy.
MR. MW:
Whatever you say honey.
MARTHAWHO:
You know -- he kind of gets dragged around by his friends... Han Solo etcetera.
MR. MW:
Can we just watch the movie?
MARTHAWHO:
Except by the last Star Wars movie, Luke Skywalker kind of grows some balls.
MR. MW:
Maybe that's the point.
MARTHAWHO:
What? That you need your friends to prop you up for a while? And then you learn to grow balls etc?
MR. MW:
Yeah.
MARTHAWHO:
Except Frodo. He never grows any balls at all. He's a pussy till the very end.
MR. MW:
Yep.
MARTHAWHO:
He should jump into that fire pit along with the ring.
MR. MW:
Uh huh. Sure honey.
MARTHAWHO:
Wow. This is the part where those Orcas are going to bite it, eh?
MR. MW:
Orcs.
MARTHAWHO:
What?
MR. MW:
It's Orcs honey, not Orcas.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh yeah. Orcas are whales, not hobbits.
MR. MW:
Orcs aren't hobbits either.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh.
MR. MW:
Technically, these aren't Orcs. They are Orecai.
MARTHAWHO:
What the hell does that mean?
MR. MW:
They're half Orc, half human.
MARTHAWHO:
Delicious.
MR. MW:
It makes them smarter.
MARTHAWHO:
Puhleeze.
MR. MW:
Are you going to be quiet now?
MARTHAWHO:
Isn't this the part where they dont have enough troops?
MR. MW:
Yep.
MARTHAWHO:
That's because the old guy kind of fucks them over right?
MR. MW:
What?
MARTHAWHO:
The old guy. Doesn't he tell the rest of the troops to turn back and not help fight the Orcas?
MR. MW:
That's Braveheart.
MARTHAWHO:
Oh. Well anyway. Frodo is still a pussy.
###
posted by Martha Who? | 8:41 PM
2 Comments:
Maybe it's a main character thing. Frodo=pussy. Luke Skywalker=pussy. Indiana Jones=TOTAL PUSSY (come on...the man CANNOT operate without his hat!)
-Mrs. BD
I think its an actor thing. Hamill totally blew. However, it wasn't his fault. I blame Lucas. I mean, did you see how crappy both Annakin's were in the new trilogy? Lucas likes pussies.
Frodo sort of had to puss out. How else could you justify Samwise tagging along? That guy makes the entire film! Maybe Jackson has a thing for pussies too, but Wood is just a little pussy-ish guy. At the same time, you can't get any more hobbit-ish than Wood. Name me someone more hobbit-ish than he.
Well, there is Tom Cruise...
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