The Night I Found Out the Ugly Truth about My Mother

SETTING: 8PM. MARTHAWHO and MINIME are home alone while MR. MARTHAWHO is traveling on business. MW is bringing MM up to bed. They pause on the stair landing to look at a globe there.

MARTHAWHO:
Want to look at the globe, kiddo? I can show you where Daddy is.

MINIME:
It's NOT a globe. That's the world mama.

MARTHAWHO:
Right. The world. You're right.

MINIME:
(very earnestly)
Can you say, "Wooooorld"?

MARTHAWHO:
Wooooorld.

MINIME:
Very good, Mama.

MARTHAWHO:
(spinning the globe to North America and pointing to Maine)
See....? This is where you and me are right now -- Maine.

MINIME:
Yup.

MARTHAWHO:
(spinning the globe counter-clockwise until it stops in the Pacific)
And.... this.... is Japan.

MINIME:
Oh! Japan!

MARTHAWHO:
(spinning the globe back and forth)
Right. That's where Daddy is going tonight. See....Maine.... and.... Japan....Maine....and....Japan...

MINIME:
No Mama! Stop. It's my turn now.

MARTHAWHO:
Oh. Ok.

MINIME:
(grabbing MW's hand and looking her in the eye)
Just. Stop. Spinning. Please.

MARTHAWHO:
O-kay, camper. Why don't you spin the globe and point to a place with your finger and I will tell you the name of the country?

MINIME:
It's not a globe, Mama.

MARTHAWHO:
OK well whatever... look... I'll spin the world one more time really fast and you stop it when you're ready and just pick a place and I'll tell you what it is.

MINIME:
No-no, Mama! I will spin the world, and I will tell you what trees it is.

MARTHAWHO:
Country, not trees.

MINIME:
Can you say, "country"???

MARTHAWHO:
OK... just spin the world so we can go to bed, OK?

MINIME gives the globe a spin and stops it after a few rotations and points to Saudi Arabia.

MARTHAWHO:
Well of all the gin joints...

MINIME:
(earnestly, almost teacher-ly)
Mama. Do you know what tree this is?

MARTHAWHO:
Yes. It's called, "Saudi Arabia."

MINIME:
No no Mama. It's not.

MARTHAWHO:
It's not?

MINIME;
(Looking around, then whispering almost conspiratorily in MW's ear)
It's Mimi's House.

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MW note: Mimi is my mother....