Warning! Contents under pressure.

Mr. MarthaWho has been whoring for the man on the left coast this week and I've been flying solo with the rugrat for 5 days.

Most Valuable Lessons Learned:

1. On a day when you're struggling to put a well-balanced kid-friendly meal quickly on the table, ketchup counts as a vegetable.

2. M&M's candies are a a highly sucessful potty-training bribe. As long as she has an M&M in each hand, LittleMe will sit on the potty singing for 20 minutes and actually pee while she's at it. I know food+potty=gross, but don't judge until you've been there. 'Sall I'm sayin.

3. If you accidentally forget to buckle your child into the car seat, it is possible that she'll survive all the way to school without climbing out or spontaneously combusting. (It will however terrify you when you open the door and realize what you've done...)

4. Just when you think your ears are going to bleed from listening to "You Are My Sunshine" for the 1000th time in the car, your child may surprise you by requesting a Santana CD instead. (as in... "more Carlos Sampama. Please.")

5. 23-month old children don't give a damn about watching the State of the Union address.

23-month old children are smart.