Addiction

Mr. MarthaWho got hisself a Crackberry last week. Because, you know, even with our two land lines, one VOIP line, two cellphones, four computers and the fully wireless internet enabled home, he just wasn't reachable enough. Now, with the Crackberry permanently cemented in a John Wayne like holster at his side, his boss can call to discuss TPS reports during the handful of instances during which this was not previously possible. How did he live before he could communicate with the other Crackberry Cowboys while driving our daughter to school, taking a dump, or sleeping? Praise the baby jeezus for wonders of technology!

We are just making ourselves entirely too findable it seems.

I was traveling last week for work, and on my flight home sat next to one of those cellphone user-abusers. Oh you know who I'm talking about. Here's a random sampling of the six (yes, SIX) phone calls he made while we were on the plane:

Call #1
Time: 5:30PM, 25 minutes to departure.
CELL PHONE ABUSER:
Hi Honey, it's me. Sorry I missed you. It's 5:30 and I just wanted to let you know we boarded the plane. 'Kay.... bye.
MARTHAWHO's commentary:
OK -- so that's cute. Mr. Power Suite guy is checking in with his wife just to let her know he is on his way home. We've all done that.

Call #2
Time: 5:55PM, pilot has informed us we'll be 5 minutes late for take off.
CELL PHONE ABUSER:
Hi Honey, it's me again. It's about 5:55 and we're supposed to be leaving now, but the pilot said we'll be another 5 minutes on the ground here. Will keep you posted.
MW's commentary:
Is your wife a schedule nazi or an air traffic controller? Does she care you're running 5 minutes late?

Call #3
Time: 6:07PM
CELL PHONE ABUSER:
Hey. Just wanted to let you know we're about to take off. So I guess I'll be landing a few minutes late. I'll call you when I land.
MW's commentary:
Dude. She gets it. Five minutes late. You already told her that. She doesn't care. Now turn off your cell phone before you get kicked off this plane.


Call #4
Time: 7:38 PM
CELL PHONE ABUSER:
Hi -- did you get my messages? Where were you? Good. Well we just landed. No, I'm not in the car yet. We JUST landed... as in we are taxiing to the gate now. OK. I'll see you in a bit.
MW's commentary:
Words cannot describe how annoying it was to watch you sit with your cellphone in hand for the last minutes of this flight, with your finger poised over the power button, waiting for the flight attendant to clear cell phone usage again.

Call #5
Time: 7:40PM
Hi hon. Me again. There's a plan waiting to depart from our gate. Should be taking off soon so hopefully we'll pull up to the jetbridge in a few minutes.
MW's commentary:
Well, you did set up an expectation when you called her right when we landed. Probably a good thing to call her and adjust that expectation by 3 minutes.


Call #6
Time 7:45PM
Finally off the plan -- walking to get my bag now. Anything you want me to pick up on the way home?
MW's commentary:
Hey asshat, two questions: 1. How many more times you are going to call her before you walk in the door? and 2. What cellphone plan are you on? I need to switch to the one that has as many everytime meaningless minutes as you're burning through.

Seriously folks. How about a "power down" holiday -- one day where all the crackberries, cellphones, pagers and computers are shut down for 24 hours...?