Martha Who?

or...who really has it all, while keeping it all together?

Name:
Location: New England, United States

Wednesday, June 21, 2006

The People You Meet in Heaven: A Short Play About Karma

NOTE: One of the many things I've been meaning to write about for the last month or so is the unfortunate story of the mountaineer David Sharp back in May. There are few natural wonders that transfix Mr. and Mrs. MW more than the stories of life and death on Mount Everest. We've read perhaps every book there is to read about the more-hyped expeditions and then some. And yet, well-versed and educated on the hubris of man on the great Sargamatha, things like what happened on May 23 still surprise me. Is the view from the top worth more than the price of one man's life?

SETTING:
Purgatory. Many years in the future. It looks surprisingly like the environs of Mount Everest. An old and craggy mountaineer with metal legs comes across David Sharp sitting in a snow cave. His boots are off and his feet are up on a full tank of supplemental oxygen. He is the picture of divinely radiant health.

DAVID SHARP:
Duuuude! What took you so long?

MARK INGLIS:
(startled)
I didn't think I'd see anyone else up here.

DAVID SHARP:
Yeah, man. Just been hanging out here. Been kind of stuck here for a while, just waiting.

MARK INGLIS:
Waiting for what?

DAVID SHARP:
You, man! I'm stoked you finally made it.

MARK INGLIS:
(nervously) You haven't been waiting long have you?

DAVID SHARP:
Wellll.... who's counting? You're here now, man! Have a seat (motioning to the snow next to him). Let's wait together.

MARK INGLIS:
No thanks. Looks cold. What are we waiting for, exactly?

DAVID SHARP:
Waiting for the big guy.

MARK INGLIS:
The big guy? You mean .... God?

DAVID SHARP:
The one and the same.

MARK INGLIS:
Maybe I will sit down. (he sits with some difficulty).

DAVID SHARP:
What's the deal with your legs anyway (rapping his goggles against one of Mark's titanium prosthetics)

MARK INGLIS:
Double amputee.

DAVID SHARP:
Whoa. What happened man? You a veteran or something?

MARK INGLIS:
Frostbite actually, heh heh. Funny -- it's not very cold up here today is it?

DAVID SHARP:
The sun is always out up here. It's pretty righteous. So Frostbite, huh? Hardcore.

MARK INGLIS:
Yep. It was a climbing accident. A long time ago. Spent the night on Mt. Cook. Didn't think I was going to make it ... but I did end up losing both legs.

DAVID SHARP:
You mean, somebody actually rescued you?

MARK INGLIS:
Yep yep.

DAVID SHARP:
Righteous.

MARK INGLIS:
I was lucky.

DAVID SHARP:
Pretty funny -- you know, I had a climbing accident too.

MARK INGLIS:
You don't say? What a coincidence.

DAVID SHARP:
Yeah. Everest. I made the summit and just kind of didn't make it back down. Must have been that altitude sickness that got me. I don't remember much of the details. Anyway, you were lucky that there were people that were able to rescue you.

MARK INGLIS:
Uh.... yeah. Sorry about that.

DAVID SHARP:
What? Oh no -- no need for apologies, brother! It's not like it's your fault I died on Everest! Just must not have been any people around to find me in my hour of need.

MARK INGLIS:
You have no idea do you...

DAVID SHARP:
It's not been so bad really... I mean, one minute I was on the top of the world, and the next minute I was sitting here -- with my feet up, the sun shining, and well, you have to admit, this is a pretty darn nice view.

MARK INGLIS:
Yes, yes... it's familiar. You've been sitting here for thirty five years?

DAVID SHARP:
Years, shmears, man. A year is like a nanosecond in the hourglass of eternity. Dust in the wind brother... dust in the wind.

MARK INGLIS:
I can't think of anything worse really. Sitting in one place for the rest of my life.

DAVID SHARP:
Dude, your life, is over -- well life as you know it anyway. Don't worry -- you'll get used to it. You literally have all the time in the universe now. I've been able to think about all of the things I never had time to think about when I was alive. Really got to search my soul and come to peace with the way I spent my time on earth. I've learned a lot.

MARK INGLIS:
Really? Such as...

DAVID SHARP:
Nothing is more important than a life well-lived -- even if it's a short life. Oh I know ... that sounds a bitHallmark and all. I know it sounds silly, but it's the little things that are the big things... family is the most important thing in the world... think of others before you think of yourself... try to stay on the straight and right path through the world. I had a pretty clean life all things considered. I mean, we all make mistakes -- but my departure from my earthly person was nothing but my own fault. It was a risky climb to make alone at the end. But I was a good person, and I know had anyone seen me falter, I would have been rescued too.

MARK INGLIS:
That is a tough break you got.

DAVID SHARP:
Nah.... I mean, it would have been nice to have all those things I wanted -- kids, etc ... but then I would not have ever had this opportunity to sit here for eternity and figure it all out.

MARK INGLIS:
You've figured it all out, then.

DAVID SHARP:
Oh yeah, man. It's a beautiful thing. You'll see.

MARK INGLIS:
So that is it then? You figuted out the meaning of life and you still have to sit here on the side of this god-forsaken mountain forever.

DAVID SHARP:
No, man! I was told to hang out here until an old man with metal legs came to take my place. No offense about the metal legs thing ... but I'm thinking it's probably you...

MARK INGLIS:
What? No -- no no! ... I can't sit here for 35 years.

DAVID SHARP:
Again with the years! You're a funny man. You'll soon learn that time has no meaning up here. It's all one beautiful endless day.

A bolt of lightening crackles across the heavenly sky and a stairway appears just above them on the mountain -- ending somewhere above the clouds. A glorious looking man with a full mane of white hair and sparkling white climbing gear descends to their level. The two men are speechless with wonderment.

DAVID SHARP:
Whoa.

MARK INGLIS:
(in awe)
What is this?

DAVID SHARP:
(whispering)
Duuude... I think it's the Stairway to Heaven.

THE GUIDE:
I prefer to think of it as the Hilary Steps. Heh heh (patting MARK on the had) That's a little Everest humor for you, sonny.

MARK INGLIS:
And you're Sir Edmund Hilary!

THE GUIDE:
I am but a humble guide for wayward travelers.

MARK INGLIS:
No ... no -- you're Sir Hilary. I am sure of it. And that's Sherpa Tenzing Norgay!!!

Another glorious looking man of Nepalese descent has appeared, with a white yak and a large rucksack.

THE GUIDE:
(ignoring MARK)
Grab your crampons, David and gather your gear - the time has come.

DAVID SHARP:
(to MARK)
Dude. That's my ride.
(he rises to his feet and begins gathering his gear into a backpack).

MARK INGLIS:
(grabbing DAVID's shirt)
Wait -- wait -- you can't leave me here.... I... I -- I'll die!

DAVID SHARP:
Heyyyyy -- That's a good one! You're so funny. Thanks for the laughs. I've enjoyed our time together.

MARK INGLIS:
(Struggles to rise to his feet and cannot)
Wait! At least help an old crippled man get up?

DAVID looks at MARK with genuine concern and walks back to him.

DAVID SHARP:
(dropping his backpack and extending his hand)
Of course, buddy.

Before MARK can take his hand, there is flash of light and glorious white fluffy wings appear on DAVID's back. He instantly rises four or five feet in the air as the SHERPA and GUIDE look on.

DAVID SHARP:
Righteous! Did you see that, buddy? I have wings!

THE GUIDE:
Okay David, we must go -- we have a long journey up the steps.

DAVID SHARP:
Oh I will miss this view.

THE GUIDE:
As to be expected. You did pay for it with your life.

MARK INGLIS:
What about me? Will anyone help me up?

DAVID SHARP:
(as he rises higher up the stairway)
This is amazing!

THE GUIDE:
You, down the mountain there -- use your wings -- hurry up before we leave without you.

There is a burst of awestruck laughter as a small group of ITALIAN mountaineers, with wings, begins to float past the spot where MARK is sitting.

ITALIAN MOUNTAINEER:
Mamma mia!

MARK INGLIS:
Hey -- you there -- please -- help me get up!

ITALIAN MOUNTAINEER:
(as he and the rest of his party drift up the stairway with DAVID and the SHERPA).
Sorry -- no speak-y English, Man! Wheeeeeeeeeee!

The party is almost out of sight, save for the GUIDE who lingers near the bottom step.

MARK INGLIS:
Won't anybody help me?

THE GUIDE:
I believe you once said, "It's hard enough to help yourself at 8500 meters, let alone save someone else."

MARK INGLIS:
What? Wait -- Oh come on -- that was a long time ago -- and well -- he doesn't even remember what happened!!!

DAVID SHARP:
(before he disappears from view)
Enjoy my view friend!! See you soooooooooooooooon.....

MARK INGLIS:
Fuck your view you selfish bastard! You paid for it with your life, remember!!!!!
(then, to THE GUIDE)
He was nearly a dead man when I saw him! There was nothing I could do. I was the first double amputee to climb Mt. Everest. I couldn't stop then.

THE GUIDE:
Well then, I guess you paid for the view with his life as well.

MARK INGLIS:
We both would have died!!!

THE GUIDE:
I should be going. You should have plenty to ruminate about for a while.

MARK INGLIS:
Don't leave me here!!!

THE GUIDE:
I'll come back and check on you from time to time.

MARK INGLIS:
Wait -- I can't get up. Please.

There is a bolt of lightning and the stairway and all of it's occupants are gone. MARK is left on the side of the mountain, paralyzed in the snow cave, with the summit just above, out of reach.

The sun is shining and view is spectacular.


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