Salvation.
Will somebody please save me from the Salvation Army?
I love the Salvation Army. Really, I do.
I love the blue pea coats and the red buckets and the bell ringers and the Christmas Cheer.
I love what they do for communities and the poor.
But I HATE the guilt!!! There is a Salvation Army bell ringer at every single store in the city. I don't want any of them to think I don't support their cause -- but do I give my change to the bell ringer at the bank? the bell ringer at the mall? the bell ringer at the salon? the bell ringer at the craft fair? the bell ringer at the public market? Do I portion out little bundles of loose change and small bills and just keep them with me during the holiday season so I can look generous and always have something to drop in? I mean, I swear, if I say "Oh, I just gave at the bank" to the bell ringer at the supermarket, I get the knowing glace that says "Whatever, you cheap a$$hole." I can't handle The Look.
Next year I'm going to put a $20 bill in one red bucket at Shaw's, and in return make a little sticker to put on my coat that says "I GAVE AT THE SUPERMARKET" -- kind of like the "I Voted" sticker they give you at the polls on Election Day.
I bet other people would be into this idea and would buy my stickers ... I'd donate the proceeds to Salvation Army. Could end up being the best fundraising idea of next year's holiday season.
I love the Salvation Army. Really, I do.
I love the blue pea coats and the red buckets and the bell ringers and the Christmas Cheer.
I love what they do for communities and the poor.
But I HATE the guilt!!! There is a Salvation Army bell ringer at every single store in the city. I don't want any of them to think I don't support their cause -- but do I give my change to the bell ringer at the bank? the bell ringer at the mall? the bell ringer at the salon? the bell ringer at the craft fair? the bell ringer at the public market? Do I portion out little bundles of loose change and small bills and just keep them with me during the holiday season so I can look generous and always have something to drop in? I mean, I swear, if I say "Oh, I just gave at the bank" to the bell ringer at the supermarket, I get the knowing glace that says "Whatever, you cheap a$$hole." I can't handle The Look.
Next year I'm going to put a $20 bill in one red bucket at Shaw's, and in return make a little sticker to put on my coat that says "I GAVE AT THE SUPERMARKET" -- kind of like the "I Voted" sticker they give you at the polls on Election Day.
I bet other people would be into this idea and would buy my stickers ... I'd donate the proceeds to Salvation Army. Could end up being the best fundraising idea of next year's holiday season.
posted by Martha Who? | 9:40 AM
2 Comments:
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I saw the title of this entry and got a little excited for a second.
I too have this guilt, but then my recovered catholic-ness kicks in and I feel pleasantly deviant and cozy, as such. Just try and rock your inner holiday deviant.
Happy Chrischaunnaquanzikuh!
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